waiting on winter

Winter is just around the corner and as a person living with anorexia, it is a bittersweet feeling. The major positive about winter is the big sweat shirts you get to wear, but that can also be risky. When people with eating disorders wear big, baggy clothes, it makes it harder for people to see if a weight loss is occurring. With winter around the corner, now is the time to make your plan, get support and find a way to be accountable. If you have a friend or loved one with ED be that support and accountability for them! This disease is not cured by medicine, it is only managed and the more people to help, the better. The other bad thing about winter is the weather. It can at times be beautiful, but let's face it, it is usually gloomy. Depression is already one of ED's best friends, but add the inevitable "seasonal depression" and you have three bad guys out to get you. Make sure you are taking any and all medications you are on, and for those of you who are supporters, remind your loved one to take their medicines. I would love to hear your stories about how you prepare for winter or how you get through triggering times!

Stay strong and beautiful!! <3

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booty shaking good times

I am LOVING my new dance studio. Tonight I tried a new class and it was soooo hard! I was having terrible body images today so working out felt great. Thoughts of food are starting to creep in. Hope I can kick it!

Stay strong and beautiful! <3

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Feeling Optimistic

Last week I had a meeting with a counselor at Wittenberg and it went really well. She helped me set up a plan of action to get rid of all my school stresses. Tonight I officially applied, just gotta get my transcripts sent! Feeling pretty good about how things are going right now! Not a whole lot going on right now, just needed to blog so I don't disappear again!!! :p

Stay Strong and Beautiful! <3

My star student

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highs and lows

The past few days have been a bit of a roller coaster for me. I have been extremely discouraged about where I am at in my degree, discouraged about my body image, depressed and convinced I had been gaining weight. Just when I feel like completely giving up, something little happens to turn my life around. Yesterday, the little thing was my dance class. Dancing made me so happy and like myself pre-ed. After class I was so happy I treated myself to ny favorite dinner, Noodles and co. Today I was very stresed and overwhelmed, but taking reece to his first obedience class changed ny entire day. He did so well and made me so proud. Seeing him learning how to behave gave me hope, because let's face it, a disobedient dog is a pretty big stressor!! I feel like things will be ok, just gotta find hope in the small things.

Stay strong and beautiful!! <3

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Monday...Done!

Hello loves!! Monday is finally over! Nothing bad happened, it was just Monday, the least liked day of the week. After school and work I made sloppy joes for dinner and did a little dance conditioning work out using my ballet bar. I am so sore from stretching yesterday, but it is a good feeling. 2 more days until I try out a new dance class close to my apartment and I can't wait!!!

Yesterday I told you about the rough body image I have been having lately. Despite all of my fighting, the nasty thoughts about myself continued. It was very difficult to focus today because I kept squeezing my tummy and pinching the "fat." My mood was pretty low because of it also, which is a good reason that today is over. I am safe in my bed alone with my beautiful pets. Time is relax and try to make my mind be quiet so I can get some sleep!

Stay Strong and Beautiful!! <3

Rocky week, New hope

Again, sorry it has been so long since my last post. I have been busy with school and working that once I get into bed (my usual blogging time) I am exhausted!! I am going to try to push myself though. Sometimes I feel like I don't have anything to say that would matter or help peoples' opinions on ED that I just don't blog. Suggestions or questions you would like answered are always welcome! 


This past week has been a little rough with my body image. I have started viewing myself as "thick, chubby, and fat" again. I didn't let my toxic thoughts of myself interfere with my eating, but it did cause me to be a little more isolated from my family. I don't like that feeling but I am just glad I didn't let it get in the way of my meal plan. Today I started a little dance conditioning, stretching and working on my ballet bar. It felt sooooo good and I felt good about myself for once. I decided that I was going to find a place for me to dance and get back into the shape I am used to being in. I found a studio that is for grown women (no more dancing with kids half my age and younger) and I am going to try it out this Wednesday. When I am dancing I feel so confident, and I hope this will help me feel more confident about myself inside and out.


Stay Strong and Beautiful! <3