This morning I was really under the weather with ED. I was so embarrassed of how I looked that I strongly considered skipping class so no one would have to look at me. I used my wise mind to go to class and fight through it. Hiding at home would only fuel the fire. Every time someone looked at me, ED played the role of the mind reader and told me what was going through the other person's mind. I sent text messages to my boyfriend and mom for support, but the class I was in doesn't allow cell phones, so I was forced to fend for myself. I looked so sloppy, my make up was a mess and I didn't bother straightening my hair since it was raining. That was no excuse for ED.
Before I left for school I brought my binder from rehab with me. During my history class I went through my old meal plans and wrote down what I would eat for the rest of the night and all day tomorrow. I also made a "snack reference" list since I have the most trouble with snacks. This will make it easier for me to just look and decide from the prepared list of what to have. It will be much easier than walking into the kitchen with no ideas and no will to eat a snack. I hope this helps keep me on the right track. Right now I have tomorrow all planned out, hopefully I can find time tomorrow to get Thursday and Friday's meals planned. Going back to the things I did in rehab feels like I am taking a huge step backwards, but I know it is the right thing I need to do right now to get ahead in the long run.
Stay Strong and Beautiful! <3
Keep going Kristen! Ed is a nobody and you are better than him. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteYou're a smart girl for planning out your meals again. Don't think of it as a step backwards, think of it as out smarting ED. Love you.
ReplyDeleteI too am very proud of you for thinking about planning by using what you learned in rehab. Kailyn is right-on - you are outsmarting him by using what you know works for you. He may never give up trying, but you will always be smarter than he is.
ReplyDelete