Tonight I went shopping with a few of my girlfriends. It was really fun and I needed some time with friends. I spend so much time alone that I think sometimes ED feeds on my solidarity. He was picking on my character today. My job has many different locations and I only signed up to work at the campus location. A different location got my number and called me today to work because they were short staffed. I turned them down because I never agreed to work at that location. Could I have, yes, which is why ED tore me apart for my decision. "You are lazy and worthless" he says over and over. I felt so guilty, like my work should just fire me. I talked to my sister and she helped me feel better. She said I am doing what I signed up for and that location was not what I agreed to. I had already made plans for the afternoon and still needed to get my lunch in so I wouldn't be much help to them anyway. I am still being tough on myself but I keep reminding myself that I am going to be working at least 3 days a week all summer and will be available to come in any other day, so I need to allow myself this week to get through finals and have a little bit of fun. ED still thinks I am lazy and worthless and hasn't stopped letting me know that. He is such a freaking jerk. I am doing the best I can balancing school, work and eating. Right now eating is a full time job for me, so if I turned down hours at a location I never signed up to work at then it is okay. I just need to keep reminding myself that.
Right now I am a little behind on my snacks and need to combine them into one snack which will be pretty tough to do.
Stay Strong and Beautiful! <3
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