Today my boyfriend took me to the Memorial Tournament Pro/AM practice rounds. I don't know much about golf but it was so much fun! The golf course was beautiful and the weather was perfect! Since Nick and I have started dating I have watched all kinds of sports that I never watched before, golf being one of them. From watching tournaments on tv, my favorite golfer is Rory McIlroy. Today we followed him on a few holes and I even got his autograph, it was so cool. In the morning I was feeling pretty confident in myself. Nick was being really affectionate and it made me feel really good, like he was proud to have me there with him. It wasn't until we were waiting at a hole that I saw a golf cart go by with a beautiful brunette riding in it. I assumed it was a players wife or girlfriend because she was gorgeous and looked way too put together to be just some lady watching. All of the women there had on shorts and tank tops, anything to stay cool and comfortable, but she had on a black dress and looked like she hadn't even had a drop of sweat touch her skin. I immediately began hurting my own feelings and wondering how Nick could ever be proud to have me by his side when women like her exist in the world. I felt so sloppy and then I began to focus on my tummy. It stuck out of my shirt and it grew every time I looked at it. Even though I know realistically a stomach doesn't grow noticeably within moments, or even a single day, I couldn't help but worry that it was and looked big. I didn't want to be "the big girl in the yellow shirt." The rest of the day I was insecure and was even insecure going up to get Rory's autograph because I was embarrassed of my appearance, but I also knew I would regret it later if I didn't just get his autograph. I am so glad I did now! I failed to plan for this as far as food goes (couldn't bring in food anyway) but I did the best I could and hope that tomorrow is a better day. I really need to get back into meal planning because it is my best defense to ED.
Stay Strong and Beautiful! <3
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