Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I hope everyone wore their green today! Today was a little challenging for me. I was busy today, volunteering in my brother's classroom and working.  The kids were pretty wound up today at work and I had a tough time with them. After work I got to go to see my love, Nick. He cheered me up pretty quickly.  All day I have been pretty self conscious and had a very low body image. Nick does a good job of making me feel beautiful but I just wanted to cover up  so he couldn't see the curves of my body. I look at my stomach and want to cry, it feels big and to me looks enormous. I get so disgusted with my appearance that it can ruin my entire day. Normally, having a few rowdy kids in my class wouldn't ruin my day, but today it really brought me down.  My ED turned it into it being my fault the kids weren't behaving. "I am not a good teacher." "I will never be a good teacher, I should just give up." Pretty discouraging stuff from old ED today. He is so annoying and I hate how he can ruin a perfectly good day. The weather was gorgeous outside these are the days I usually embrace being alive more than ever! Tomorrow is my chemistry final and I have been so depressed today about how I look that I have no energy to study. I am emotionally exhausted! All I can do is hope for the best. My fear is that ED will creep up before the test telling me I am not smart enough, or I didn't study enough because I was lazy and I will be so put down by my own mind to do the best I can. I already plan on having a nap and catching up on tivo after my exam no matter how I feel coming out. I have worked very hard in that class this quarter and need to focus on the big picture and reward myself for that. That is easier said than done. We'll see how it goes! **Fingers crossed**