Today was great! I had my birthday dinner with my family at Olive Garden and celebrated with my boyfriend's family as well. But in the midst of all the happiness I realized that I lost my house key. I was freaking out, retracing every step and going back to every place I had been. My last hope was at the gas station by my house, the first place I had been. Not there. I met Nick back at my apartment and had to wait for 45 minutes for my roommate to come save the day. I was so upset and couldn't stop blaming myself for being so irresponsible. I began to cry and even snap at Nick when he did nothing wrong. ED blamed me for being irresponsible and for being a bad girlfriend. I took my emotions out on my innocent boyfriend. I told him I was sorry for being mean to him and he understood and didn't take it personally. I just hate how ED can take even the most random of unfortunate events and turn it into an attack on my character. It is like no one else in the world loses their keys unless they are irresponsible. That isn't true and I know that but in the moment I believed him. It is easy to look back now with a rational mind now that I am in my house, but frustrating still. He is heartless and doesn't care about anything but ruining my life and self worth. I won't let him. He can get me down in moments of weakness but he will not keep me there.
Stay Strong and Beautiful! <3
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