Emotional Work Out

Before I talk about anything else, I am apologizing for not posting yesterday. I had a terrible migraine and was in bed all evening with a cold wash cloth on my head. It was awful!! Thankfully I did not have one today and was able to get a lot done. From 9-3 I was at school and had very few run ins with ED. It rained all day, so when I got home I was ready for a nap. I was sleeping so deeply that when Nick called, I thought it was the next morning and I forgot to get up. It took me a while to wake up but when I did I made dinner and watched some tv. I was able to read all of my history assignment and take my online quiz.

After sitting down for a long time I needed to get up and move, so I put my Zumba game into my Wii. I danced for 37 minutes and was pouring in sweat! It felt so good to be dancing again, I miss it so much. I feel much better about my body when I am dancing. It is when I am not dancing that is the problem. I talked to one of my former dance teachers and she wants me to be in a dance show she is planning. I am so excited and hope it works out. Right now my body is really sore, but feels good. I usually don't work out because it is a trigger and after dancing tonight I remembered why. After I chugged some water, I got ready to take a shower. Seeing myself with no clothes on is always hard, but it seemed like everything was much bigger than it was before I worked out! I really wanted to go back into my room and do more zumba. I felt like working out did nothing but make my body swell up. Ed kept telling me I will never look good and it is not worth it...I am not worth it. This is probably ED's way of making me work out more and more and eat less so I don't ruin the work out I did. He's so mean and I can't stand him!! What is keeping me going and staying positive right now is knowing that I exercised in moderation and that is good for my body. My motive for working out is not to lose weight but to strengthen what my body already has.

Reminder about the NEDA walk in Columbus. Remember team EDucate is getting shirts, and in order to get your shirt I need to have the size you wish to have as soon as possible!!!!! To register go to http://neda.nationaleatingdisorders.org/site/TR/NEDAWalk/General?team_id=2771&pg=team&fr_id=1350 and click "join team." Your support is greatly appreciated!! Together we can fight this!!!

Stay Strong and Beautiful! <3