Today was another rough one, but not as bad as the past two. The morning wasn't too bad, it wasn't really until my 5:00 class that things started happening. I saw a coworker from the daycare and ED started to chatter. "She hates you, no one likes you there anymore. You are not dependable and are not welcome there anymore." My anxiety level shot through the roof! My hands were shaky and I felt frumpy and useless. I started comparing myself to every girl in the room, and the class is all girls except for one. On our break I checked my email and my boss never emailed me back. I got really upset. Maybe she was just busy today and didn't get a chance to check her email, but it is hard for me to believe that over ED's theory; She hates me. When I got home, Bella was purring as soon as I opened the door. I spent some time playing with her and seeing how happy she was made me remember that love doesn't know beauty or ugly. She loves me because I take care of her and love her. I got her when I was in recovery, so she is my recovery gift and motivation to keep fighting. Tomorrow I see my new doctor, hopefully that will quiet ED for the weekend. I really need a break.
Stay Strong and Beautiful! <3
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