I am getting absolutely sick of living under this dark cloud. No matter what I am doing he's there making me miserable. Today shopping for glasses I couldn't pick one without my mom's help because he hated them all. After I ate dinner I could not stop pinching my belly and hips. Everything felt so swollen and big. When I got home from my mom's house I washed the makeup off of my face hoping it would make me feel better, but it didn't. I just let it go for a while and watched a movie with Nick. Then after the movie I saw my reflection in the mirror and almost lost it crying, but I held it together. Since then I have been pretty withdrawn and just depressed because of what I saw. I can't stand myself, I embarrass myself. How can anyone love me when I can't bare to even look at myself? I am ready for this to end. I can't take one more day of this, I honestly feel like I am losing my mind and my grip on reality.
Stay Strong and Beautiful! <3
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