Hey Loves!!! Today was great and I can't to tell you all about it. This morning was the first morning in a long time that I left the house feeling happy with how I looked. It felt amazing to walk to class not worrying if people looked at me. In my morning class I am usually very insecure, but today I had a little more confidence. I was participating in conversations a little more and didn't feel as left out as I usually do. Now, that is not saying I didn't at all because I did. My group was talking about the senior superlatives they won in high school and winning prom royalty. I had to get up from the table during that conversation because ED was starting to tell me I was a nobody. I was never nominated for homecoming or prom queen and I didn't win any superlatives. When I walked away I was able to talk to myself and realize that it is okay, those things don't make me less of a person.
Toward the end of the day I got really tired and started to not feel well, I almost cancelled my shopping date, but once I got out of class I felt much better. I think I am allergic to history and econ! Shopping was very fun, but a challenge for me. I went with a friend of mine from class and we have never hung out outside of school. She knows about ED so that helped a LITTLE but I still was worried about what she thought about the things I was picking out. After a while I relaxed. I am so glad I went through with the shopping trip, it was fun and I needed to challenge that social anxiety. It was uncomfortable at first, but I didn't give up and go home and I feel so proud of myself for having done it.
I am making a cd for the people participating in the NEDA walk with me in May. Send me some of songs that inspire you the most! I also want you to take a minute to think of a challenge you faced today that you got through, even if it is small, and be proud. We survived another day in this crazy world, that is something to be proud of!
Stay Strong and Beautiful! <3
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