Today has been a very tough day. I woke up early to take Reece to the groomer and I instantly hated myself for not getting up in time to take a shower. After I dropped him off I went back to bed for an hour and again when I woke up, I hated that I didn't use that time to get cleaned up.
The rest of the day was the same, no matter what I did it wasn't good enough. I felt so gross and lazy. I have felt so fat all day and I am fighting the urge to restrict. I am evening experiencing the urge to purge, just to get the full feeling to go away. I feel very alone right now and hate this dark place I am in today. I hope tomorrow is better because this should be a happy time of the year. I am on the verge of tears writing this because I hate having days like this. I truly feel like I look like I am 9 months pregnant :(
Stay Strong and Beautiful...
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