Today has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. This morning I went to the doctor for a routine check up and mentioned to my doctor that I have been having some stomach pains for a few weeks. After ruling out pregnancy and a UTI, she mentioned it could be my gall bladder. When she pressed on my stomach it hurt on my left side, where the gall bladder is. I was curious to see if my anorexia, even though I haven't been severe in nearly three years, had anything to do this this. I googled "Gall stones and anorexia." I found out that my restricting can increase my chances of having gall stones. I got so mad and scared. What else could be wrong with me?! First it was the digestive problems and now this. I am doing what I am supposed to do to stay healthy and he still is attacking my body. At one point I thought "what's the point? Why keep fighting if ED is still screwing with my insides."
After work I decided to do a little more Christmas shopping to get my mind off of the stomach pains (aka constant reminder that ED can still hurt me). When I left the mall the snow was pouring from the sky. Something about the first snow of the year is magical to me. I could not help but smile and take it as a reminder of why I am fighting ED. I could feel the wet snowflakes land on my nose and the cold air bite my cheek, things ED never lets you feel. Life is full of tiny little miracles that make fighting ED worth fighting each and every battle.
Stay Strong and Beautiful! <3
It is worth the fight Kristin! You keep going, you have no idea how many people you are making aware and helping with the fight of ED. Don't you let anything get in your way! You are an amazing person. Also, IF you do have gall stone, it doesn't necessarily mean it was cause by ED. I know plenty of people that have gall bladder problems who never restricted, so don't start on the self induced guilt trip. Just another ED trick! (HUGS)
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