Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Just Make It Stop

He won't go away, and I can't break free. I am crying as I write this evening. I am so tired of this and want to just stop. I don't want to keep going, it seems so much easier to just give in and quit. I feel like I am shutting down and it scares me so much. I had to call off of work today to take Nick to the doctor after he got hurt last night playing basketball. I called first thing in the morning giving work plenty of time to find a replacement. ED wouldn't leave me alone about my decision. Telling me they will fire me or just think I am not a dependable worker. I emailed my boss and she emailed me back and her response made me feel like she was on Ed's side. I told my mom about the email and she thinks that my boss was confused and told me to email her back to clarify things. I did and even asked for a meeting with her to get on the same page with her. I feel like I need my boss's support, especially when ED judges me about my job performance. This is the first time I have ever called off a shift, and I am always working when they call me at the last minute needing someone to come in.

I am dreading waking up in the morning, it is a long day of classes and I don't feel up to it. I want out of this, what did I ever do to receive this life sentence?!

Stay Strong and Beautiful! <3

2 comments:

  1. i'm sure your boss understands. it's okay to miss a day every now and then, especially with how much you deserve it! love you puff and don't give up!!!

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  2. I'm sure it will be fine. Hang in there. There are so many people who love you and think you are awesome - and ED knows it. You listen to us and not him. You are a good person, smart and beautiful!! ((HUGS))

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