Surviving

Well, I survived a very busy weekend! Reece is doing so well with his potty training, I am so impressed. I love him so so much. Bella is adjusting well too! She is no longer hiding under the bed all the time. She is now at the point where she can be out when Reece is and still spend time with me. Her love is extra special to me. My dad let me adopt her while I was in rehab and she has always been a reminder to me of what I am fighting for. Also, my mom put into perspective for me about my restricting; she said "Imagine how you would feel if Bella or Reece stopped eating. How would you feel?" That is so true, I need them so much and I know they need me as well. If I can't find it in myself to fight for my own life, I need to fight for theirs... and I will. Yesterday I went to lunch with my mom and it was one of the toughest meals I have had in a while. I ordered spaghetti and chicken and when I got full my hands began to shake. To distract my mom and I went to walmart and bought some things for Reece. That night for dinner Nick and I went out for our anniversary and I was so nervous about the meal I didn't talk much. He thought something was bothering me, but really I was just worried about the meal. My family is so supportive, I don't know what I would do without them. I am still struggling to get more than three meals in, but I'm working hard to even do that much.  Tomorrow is a busy day with work and studying for midterms! I am a little stressed about the upcoming week, but I plan on making a lot of to do lists to keep my mind focused on what is important. 

Stay Strong and Beautiful! <3